A Different Kind of FOMO

I chuckle when I stop to skim through previous posts from years ago that I barely remember and find themes and topics that I forget I’ve written. I’m sure that if some SEO, “digital strategist,” or PR person were ever to happen upon this haphazard collection, it would cause an upturn of the nose, potentially a sniff, followed by “this is why you need me.”

Fortunately, this space isn’t meant to be some perfectly polished and curated work. It’s a constant work in progress and push towards greater skill. AKA, I can do whatever the hell I want and however the hell I want. It’s a very liberating feeling.

Tangential thought aside, it is funny to me when I find those common themes, even years later. I’ve written about FOMO before, back in 2016, but today I’m thinking about it in a slightly different context. I find that during those amazing probably-once-in-a-lifetime travel moments, I get the FOMO bad. Instead of taking the time to apply some technical knowledge or think critically about composition, I snap the lazy shot. It’s only in post that I realize how silly that is when those shots aren’t very interesting. They’re kind of cool, but doesn’t make you feel anything or react in any kind of way.

I clearly love to travel and go to new places, which means plenty of new experiences, some of which I do want to document and look back to say “hey remember when x happened?" But, it’s hard when that mixes with when I’m trying to actually push to the kind of photography that makes you feel something. I find it hard to shoot mundane subjects because they’re kind of boring and everyday by definition, but that’s also where I can focus 100% on the technical aspects and consider how the light falls on something boring AF. I don’t get caught up in the moment of sensory overload in an amazing new place and experience.

That’s a hard temptation to resist though - it’s not exactly fun to do technical drills, but it’s probably something I need to do more of to really push to the next level. I’ve gotten away largely with “good enough” or “lucky enough,” for the past 850 hours and almost 7 years… it’s definitely time to uplevel my progress with some deliberate practice.

f/8 @ 1/500 sec - this is one that if I could redo, I would have at minimum, opened the aperture up and cranked up the speed to remove the distraction in the background. Light was tough since it was pretty harsh.

Generally still love this shot, but it would have been interesting to line up his blue eye with the sunbeam streaking through.

Active Shooting Time: already counted
Review Time: 1
Hours To Date: 850

8 months of shooting later...

And most of 2017 has positively FLOWN by... I have this theory about why time seems to pass much faster as an adult than as a kid.  As we age, each year is proportionately a smaller and smaller part of our overall life.  For example, for a 5 year old, a year is 20% of their entire life.  But as a 29 (eek!) year old, it's only 3.4% of my life.  

So yes, 2017 seems to have zoomed by and yet, it was a HUGE year for me.  Big moments that kept me from editing and posting regularly:

• Got engaged (!) and started the wedding planning hoopla
• Moved to LA and into a place together with the fiancé
• Attended 4 friends' weddings in the span of 2 months
• Graduated with my MBA
• As school work wound down, the normal 9-5 ramped up with extra projects and travel
• Turned 29 and started using wrinkle cream (probably too little, too late)
• Built a fitness & nutrition habit - the beginnings of "shedding for the wedding"

Despite all that, I managed to get in some quality shooting time, especially while on vacation and occasionally even during regular work travel.  2017 so far has seen me bounce to:

• Big Island
• Kaua'i
• New York City
• Cabo San Lucas
• Portland
• Eugene
• Las Vegas
• Salt Lake City
• Boise
• San Francisco
• Dallas
• Denver
• Chicago 

Part of my tardy post is just the sheer amount of time I spend pouring over pictures in post and considering how I might have lined up a better shot.  Most of it ended up having to do with the light.  That's probably my biggest takeaway in the last year is that there's only so much you can do with crap light.  

In a bid to finally catch up and get back to posting regularly, I added up all the time just out of curiosity and I was really surprised.  

93 hours!!  Of just shooting time!!  Once I factor in editing & review time, I've added 251 hours of thinking, evaluating, and framing shots to my experience.  Not to mention a lot of new fun gear, including the Lee filters system.  Serious posts to come catching up on some of these below shots, but I have to totally celebrate this accomplishment when I thought I was doing atrociously.  I can definitely tell I've improved - I'm taking fewer shots and getting better ones, so onwards!

Active Shooting Time: 93 hours
Editing Time: 158 hours
Hours To Date: 643.5

Early experimentation with the Lee Filters system.  January // Big Island, HI.

Eleven Madison Park at Midnight.  One of the BEST meals I've ever had and one of the most beautiful weddings I've had the pleasure of attending.  April // New York City.

El Arco // May // Cabo San Lucas, Mexico 

Multnomah Falls before the Independence Day weekend rush // June 30th // Oregon

Devastation and Regrowth.  July // Mount St. Helens, Washington

My new neighbors are quite loud.  They also didn't care a whit that a solar eclipse was going on, just who got space to lounge on the back of the boat.  August 21 // Marina del Rey, CA 

The FOMO is Real

FOMO or The Fear of Missing Out, is a term that I never heard until I started grad school.  It’s the idea that there are so many interesting and fun things going on, you feel compelled to do it all because you’re scared the one time you don’t, you’ll miss out on something epic.  The problem with avoiding acknowledgement of FOMO is that eventually, you burn out.

As a woman in business, this is not a new phenomenon to me and the drive to overachieve is all too familiar – I want to do and have it all. Realistically though, it’s not possible to be on top of everything at every single given moment.  I’m pretty sure there’s even a clever little ditty that says trying to do everything results in doing nothing.  There are definitely days and even whole month stretches where my apartment is a mess, my to do list has several items left incomplete, and my fitness tracker shows fewer than 10,000 steps.

And so, for the past 6 months, blogging took a hit since I was managing a transition into a new role at work and taking on an additional class during Winter/Spring quarter that took me abroad to China for a couple weeks on the school front.  I still managed to get behind the lens; I just didn’t have time to drone on about it.

Sorry, I’m not sorry.  I think more women need to get behind that – define what matters and go after it unapologetically.  And it’s normal to pivot when something new shakes up the routine.  I'm confident that once the excitement at work and school calm down, I'll have more time to write the 1,000 words behind the pictures I took at San Diego Zoo, Death Valley National Park, Hong Kong, China, and a smattering of other events.  For now, you'll just have to fill in the blank yourself.

Last Progress Update: 283 Hours
Since then: 25 hours shooting; ~40 hours reviewing/editing.
New Hours to Date: 348

Giraffe - San Diego Zoo

Salt flats and bad water - Death Valley National Park

Hong Kong